YOU GET TO VOTE THE PICTURE FOR THE 2010 MAGIC CITY CALENDAR!

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Give me a sec, I'm on vacation!

HAWAII BABY! 

How To Get a Boy, a Girl, and Etc...

Ok, Ok, you can finally stop wondering whether it's gonna be a boy or a girl. I'm going to tell everyone how to have a boy, girl, twins, or octuplets - whatever you want. 

Most of my followers are females so I'm gonna talk as though I'm talking to a female. 

If you want to have a baby girl its simple:  Make sure your man hasn't cum in about 1 to 2 weeks. Have normal sex with him(7 mins!) and he'll have a quick but weak orgasm due to the span of inactivity. This is 98% proven method to get a girl because his sperm is not brand new. 

So, of course, to have a boy, you must not catch his first weak nut but catch his 2nd, brand-new-sperm-strong nut! One of those ARRRRGGGGHHH! This will definitely get you a boy due to the brand new sperm and strong orgasm. 

If you want twins, have a "Menage a Dong". This means have a threesome with 2 guys. You have to swallow all of one guy's cum while the other cums inside you. Now, this won't work if you don't like swallowing cum, but you if do, its a sure-fire win to have twins!

Finally, if you wanna be Octomom, you probably already know where I'm headed... 

First off, you need to be drunk or on a pill and in desperate need of money. Then you need to have an orgy with at least 9 guys! Why 9? With that many dudes around someone is bound not to get hard. Now, not many women can do what it takes to become an octomom, but if your set on being one, pay attention, freak:  You gotta take cum in all of your orifices! 2 ears, 2 nostrils, your mouth, vagina, anus, and at least 1 eye! 

If you can do that!, you deserve to be the super hero called Octomom! 

Touchy Subject but here we go...

ASKING A MAN TO PICK JUST ONE WOMAN IS LIKE,

ASKING A FAT PERSON TO PICK JUST ONE FOOD.

Riding bikes on the road? WTF?!

I HATE THIS SHIT! IT'S THE ROAD! NO BIKES, NO SCOOTERS, NO SKATERS! 

GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD WITH YOUR SLOW ASS BIKE!

Get off A Rod's Nutts!

If A Rod takes steriods then I take Viagra! Who cares, long as I get the job done right!?

I guess I'm just mad that "Baseball" didn't test for all these illegal substance because they knew everyone was on the shit.

Then, after one snitch (Jose Canseco) put everyone on blast, "Baseball" wants to turn it's head and point its finger at the players. WTF? 

If anyone should get punished it should be "Baseball" itself! They allowed the shit, they benefited from all the Homeruns, the should man up and stop letting the media ruin players lives! 

Alex Rodrigez, Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Mark Mcguire and Sammy Sosa are ALL Hall of Famers!

If I were them, I would tell them, they can put an asterisk on my ass!, right next to the steroid puncture wounds! 

Ricky Hatton KTFO!

Ok, I need my damn money back for this Shit! Come on white boy! 2 rounds?!

Boxing needs to do something about this! They wonder  boxing is falling off. It's because of shit like last night. They hype the fight up for 2 months and give me 2 rounds of action! WTF!

I don't care if that white boy was knocked out. Wake his punk ass back up and get em back in the ring! Fights not over! Forget counting to 10! People paid to see a fight and that's what we should get. 

Give him some smelling salt and put him back in there! We'll give him time recover, but he gotta keep fighting! If he doesn't, he needs to forfeit 95% of his money back to the people that paid to watch that shit, and the ones that lost money on his ass. Bet you he'd get back up then!